The Push-Pull of Community

This "little" dynamic of community first came to my attention in KC. The ministry that we connected with there was both mission minded and...well...not. Depended on who you were talking to. The analogy that was used most often was pioneers and settlers. It created a tension.

I think that this push/pull IS a reality of community. Push/Pull. I see those who will push the boundaries and those who want to keep it safe. Both have value and both carry a certain danger. And really, I think we all at one time or another find ourselves filling both roles.

I've been pondering the "keep it safe" issue for a couple of months. Somebody expressed a desire to know that it would be safe to explore the community thing. Then another time another expressed a desire to be safe even while in the process of pushing the boundaries.

I think that in the large picture we see everybody doing both to varying degrees. For example - I'm one to push the boundaries but I have my own way of keeping myself safe. I think too much. I mentally process these things that catch my attention. I probably won't immediately say anything and maybe never but I will take a thought away from a conversation that won't let me rest. By the time I talk about it I have thought about it and either I know pretty much where I stand or I know what my questions are. That's how I keep me safe. Some people keep themselves safe by staying quiet. They prefer to keep themselves to themselves. I know a lot about that. It was for years my modus operandi. I find myself wondering what someones inner response to me is - especially when the conversation turns to those subjects that touch the still tender places inside and my words, etc. reflect the feelings there that are not yet peace.

I've learned that I don't have to have all the answers so if somebody did come up with a question I had not thought of I think I would be OK. Still there is no set rule to this. Here's a way I think we all are a part of pushing the boundaries of community. Anytime one of us does something - I mean specifically something controversial - everyone connected with that one finds themselves in a place where a response is required. The response reveals so much about ourselves. Maybe nobody knows what your response was - maybe you're far enough away from things that your response is just between you and God. But ya'll know. Sometimes one's response is such that it reverberates through the community. Then we are responding to a response.

Community is not isolation. Duh. (That duh is for me. I wrote that and then realized what I had written and it just seemed so, so...you know.)

But can community still be safe? Can I keep my brothers and sisters safe? I don't know that I have the whole answer to that yet but at this point I really don't think I can make any body a promise to keep them safe. I'd like to keep them safe. But what if God is the one pushing the buttons - through me? Or what if God allows us to just be who we are and we hit a nerve and God is allowing it to happen and He himself watches to see what our response will be? What if I don't know that something I say or do is going to touch one of those tender places inside of someone I care very much about? What if God is trying to get to me and He needs to expose me and you just happen to be the tool he uses?

In that respect it is not in my power to keep anyone safe. If we are not safe with/in our Father then we are not safe anywhere.

And here's another thing that I think of where keeping someone safe is concerned. Dysfunctional. Dysfunctional relationships work kinda like this - I try to make sure that I don't say or do anything that will upset you. My decisions, actions, words become subject to that one that I'm trying to keep safe and then I am no longer safe. I am then controlled by another human being. The relationship is no longer about freedom to be or the freedom to express Christ through your own personality but it is about being "correct" and even "dishonest". Frustration sets in and you wonder why you're there at all. If a group is trying to keep one person safe then the group is no longer about what God is doing - it is about that particular person.

No - at this point I don't think I can promise to keep anyone safe.

I guess I'm seeing here that I'm not much for the idea of safety unless God shows me something more down the road. Where then would be the iron sharpening iron effect that people are supposed to have on each other?

I am for this though, I am for always showing up no matter how tense things might be, no matter if we are in a place of disagreement. I am for staying in conversation with someone for as long as it takes to get something worked out between us. I am for not condemning someone because they take a different view or interpret scripture differently. I am for not deliberately trying to force an issue. I am for allowing the other time to deal with something in their own way or even to not deal with it if they don't want to. Nobody has dictatorial powers here.

One beautiful thing is that we are not required to agree on all things. God is bigger than all that and He finds His expression in the earth in the diversity of the people he flows through. The Push/Pull of community is always going to be a reality because of the vastness of expression that God wants to bring through his body.