A Quote about Love

"Being IN LOVE is a good thing, but it is not the best thing. There are many things below it, but there are also things above it. You cannot make it the basis of a whole life. It is a noble feeling, but it is still a feeling... Knowledge can last, principles can last, habits can last; but feelings come and go... But, of course, ceasing to be "in love" need not mean ceasing to love. Love in this second sense — love as distinct from "being in love" — is not merely a feeling. It is a deep unity, maintained by the will and deliberately strengthened by habit; reinforced by (in Christian marriage) the grace which both partners ask, and receive, from God... "Being in love" first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. It is on this love that the engine of marriage is run: being in love was the explosion that started it."

- C.S. Lewis

Isn't it funny the windey way that things come to us. My hubby had sent me someone else's blog post to read and I went looking around in their blog site and saw this. I felt that it was very very fitting for Larry and me and our life at this particular moment in time as it seems that almost our whole life has been about dealing with issues presently are working on some things - again. I love the way love is expressed here. We were definitely in love when we first married (and still are) but we were too young and too too not ready and we had to deal with the stuff of life without knowing how that was supposed to be done. For the last several years we've been harvesting some fruit that is not what we would have chosen to grow had we understood that there was some choosing of seed and choices in cultivation methods that needed to be done . Being in love is not what has kept us together and growing all these years. It's the "quieter love" that has made it work. When we understood that there was some choosing to do we began to choose to love. To stay and keep staying. To fight, each in our own way, for something that is larger than ourselves - for a legacy of life and love - that hopefully will affect positively the generations to come after us.

We cannot do this without choosing that "other" love.

Chosen love - stronger - life producing - even fierce.

Being in love is a wonderful thing, for sure. But I believe that it is very fragile and shallow ultimately. I believe that this kind of love can be destroyed and often is. The quieter love can be destroyed also but it's much harder to do and when both are choosing this love then there is every reason to believe that answers can be found and changes can be made and a life can be lived that brings fulfillment to all concerned.