The evolution of me.

Finding the definition of the word evolution is not really an easy thing because the word can be applied to many different things. Such as biological things where evolution takes place over generations and the evolution of a species is not discernible to it's own generation.

But I know that I am an evolving being and not me by myself. My marriage is evolving. My family is evolving. My community that I call spiritual family is evolving.

I like this taken from Wikipedia.....

The word stems from the Latin term "evolutio" meaning "unfolding"
Evolution can refer to any sort of progressive development, and often bears a connotation of gradual improvement: evolution is understood as a process that results in greater quality or complexity.

I relate to the definitions above where I,and these entities close to me, are concerned. Who we are today, as expressed in our opinions, likes/dislikes, priorities, pursuits, actions and reactions are to varying degrees different than they were 10 even 5 even 2 years ago.

Guess I should speak for myself here. My external life still has all the accoutrements of the nice, white, middle class life. In all it's different forms my life has always been the nice, white, middle class life. But within the context of that life that I have been living for 52 years I have been going from one change to another. I wonder would I have changed so much had I not moved around so much. Moving has put me in various situations, requiring me to adjust, bringing about changes. That happens to all people to more or lesser degrees. Had I settled into one home, in one city, keeping the same friends for all this time I suspect that there are changes that would not have taken place or perhaps the changes would be different ones. This is not to be judged as either good or bad. It just is.

It is my journey and my path of evolution or to use another term - transformation. I've used this term before. Very acceptable in the realm of Christianity and the term evolution can be controversial. But to me they are one and the same. God is transforming me and the process of that transformation is evolutionary. God, because he is God, could transform me in a blink of an eye. He could touch me and I could be changed without effort and without pain. But he doesn't. Instead he evolves me. Either way I change.

Imagine one who has started on a journey in a direction, not knowing that the destination is about 180 degrees in the other direction. The traveler is fortunate to have as the navigator of this journey one who is very wise and understands the journey and also understands what the traveler needs to have gained in order to live in the new place. So rather than turning said traveler 180 degrees at the outset of the journey he turns said traveler in 1 or 2 or 3 or 6 or 10 or 25 or whatever degree increments as said traveler keeps putting one foot in front of the other. How beautiful that regardless of whether one turns much or little, the destination is the same for all - assured by the work of One. But the journey is important and to evolve is important.

I do like to think that my evolution is resulting in a greater quality. God's word says that he is forming the nature of his son within us. Our work here is not about doing great exploits but to believe in the possibility that we can actually be like him. That can sometimes be a great exploit in itself and can require great effort. I want the nature of Christ formed within me. I find myself at one of those junctures where I don't feel as though I know what that is. I so relate to something I heard Frank Peritti say once: When I was young I knew exactly what God's will was - but I didn't trust him. Now that I'm old"er" I don't know what God's will is - but I trust him.

I feel that way about many things these days. Where I'm going live eventually, what's going to happen now that we have a new president, how my family will become whole, the future of my spiritual families, I have many questions right now and very few answers to things but I'm OK with that. I'm not doing anything except getting up and going to work every day and learning life again with my husband. The present moment is enough for the present moment. I feel that I'm in an evolutionary period that involves being in a cocoon maybe or at least in a state of dormancy or rest.

I know it's a good moment. When God give you a time to rest - you better take it.