Thinking things.

Thinking things and wanting to write.

Writing helps me to organize thoughts that are fleeting and fly away. But not today I guess.

Interconnected thoughts make stories hard to tell - points become cumbersome.

Maybe never important to any other soul but important to me. Ultimately it's enough to know.

I love this - this being able to look a something I consider a "failure" and my reaction to it and then to trace the action and the reaction to the roots that produced such fruit.

It arms me - gives me weapons to use against an unseen enemy that works diligently to steal, kill and destroy in my life.

And did a good job for many years - still meeting the costs of 20+ years of inability.

It's wonderful now to at least be armed with knowledge and understanding.

I am still new. In previous posts I spoke of going backward to something more like a child. I'm still there in some ways. But also...ready to grow up. To become.

The word deliberate comes to mind. I'll see over time how that gets applied in my growing up process.