Last night and the night before Larry and I watched a video by Dr. Paul Hegstrom about the brain and how it works and how it renews and what happens when we make a decision to start a new thing or to change a habit, etc.

Amazing how God made us and how involved our physical bodies are in the transformation process. And it helps to explain why it's not easy. It takes three years for a new axon to be fully formed in the brain. And the old axon containing data about the old way will even try to absorb the new one. So we're trying to change and our very brain matter is fighting against it.

In a previous post I said that I felt as though I'd been asleep for 50 years and am just now waking up. Maybe another way to put that feeling is that I feel like I've gone back to being a child. And I believe this has been God's setup. When I turned 50 I knew that I knew that there was more going on than more wrinkles and gray hair. In God's economy 50 is the year of Jubilee - the year of starting over. I've started over and I feel it as I walk through my land and I'm going through a stage - yes a stage - of childhood. How strange. Last night's conversation - prompted by the video - was about taking another look at the homes we grew up in - our parents - events - those vague things you remember and have heard about that time down through the years.

Pieces of a puzzle being brought to their places. The fragmented soul being called back to itself.

As I said, I willingly embrace this journey. I can trust my Father now.