It begins again

The healing journey that is.

Wow.

Wow. Wow.

I knew when God touched that deep place in me that prevented me from trusting him that it was not the last thing to be dealt with. It's just that I had to go there in order to go where I'm going now.

So many thoughts and feelings are running through me. These days since moving into the apartment have become very strange as new and different sensations have moved through me. I didn't know what to think of some of them. I have said and done things out of some hidden places within myself that leave me once again not feeling too great about myself. Tears come anytime of the day. The old triggers are still active.

At this point I just can't do details or explanations.

I feel so tired right now.

I want to blog about this. I haven't been able to pull thoughts together to write. I don't want to retreat inside myself. I acknowledge that blogging is a way to keep my door open and still keep myself in a safe place. I still need that.

God, once again, in his amazing wisdom and timing has brought information that speaks to this place and time of my transformation journey. He's really good that way. And there is so much that can help us to understand.

I'm so thankful for such people as John and Paula Sanford, Arthur Burk and now Paul Hegstrom who have shared the understanding of our spirit, soul and body that God has given them with all who wish to listen.

It seems we begin with the question - What's going on with me. And there is confusion and a host of emotions that seem to have no explanation. In my past this would be a point of no return - a spiral into the black hole of despair.

But not today. Today I'm thankful for the teaching Larry and I just listened to about our brain, and memories and reactions and responses and triggers and the actual physical renewing of the mind; the death of the old man as the new one emerges.

I willing take this walk with my Father. I know things will be better at the end of this path. And now I'm not afraid.