Family

Larry’s dad. He just turned 80 last week. Things like this cause me to think about things. Like history. We took him to Olive Garden because he mentioned to Larry his curiosity about it. He had never been there. We had a good time. Larry’s Dad. My dad too – since I was barely 18 when I married in. My children’s grandfather and my grand children’s great grandfather. The last grandparent since my parents died several years ago and Larry’s mom died almost two years ago. Now – NOW – I have the maturity and sensibility to appreciate these people. I didn’t always, you know. Especially the grandparents – parents of our parents. Too independent to receive from others.

But as I look back on these folks in my mind now I see things that I did not have eyes for and I feel an appreciation for them that I did not feel then. I'm not saying I didn't like them. I did and I enjoyed most of the time I was with them. But I know I passed up opportunities to receive from them. Opportunities passed up. Lives are filled with opportunities passed up. Opportunities in relationships. Opportunities to be life giving. Opportunities to receive life nutrients. I read a quote the other day by the singer Joan Baez that said “The easiest kind of relationship for me is with 10,000 people. The hardest is with one.” Scary to get too close - to give up a little space.

God places us in families because we need to be in families. We need each other. That is the first line of community. We’re supposed to learn the basics of overcoming relationship issues there. You know – things like forgiveness, recognition, appreciation of diversity. How to look at ourselves, realize our own faults and learn how to repent and make restitution when we have wounded. Family does that if we let it. If we let it put right boundaries on us and within those boundaries we make it work. We let....love. We let.....generosity. We let.....commonality and diversity. Work. Be effective in the transforming of our souls. In the perfect world we would learn these things as children and go into the world as adults with better attitudes than we do.

We would be better prepared to parent children if we had been able to accept our parents parenting and that goes for them too and will apply to the generations after.

Some people achieve this and some don't. We run from family. It’s a good thing to find our families in the heart and spirit connections but still there are reasons in God for natural family. I’m thankful today for those people who make up my natural family. I may or may not ever be close to them but I think I can go into the future with an appreciation for what they bring to me.

I’m not through parenting and my heart is to pass this on to my children. I still want to be a good parent.