So many thoughts

So many thoughts go through my mind these days. I wish I could harness them. I'm thinking about how to go forward. Maybe I am going forward but I can't tell it because it doesn't look the way I think it should. I don't insist that it be my way. I just don't know what it is.

I feel like I'm standing still.

Larry has described us at times as a couple who stands in the place of contending against and contending for. I feel myself pulling towards a contending for....something. Maybe I can just describe it as the future.

Hmmm.

Ever since my last post I've been thinking about what I believe. Important stuff. We don't have any external structure to tell us what we believe. Mid '90's and we were challenged by something that happened to begin to think differently about what we believe. We realized that all we knew about what we thought was right and wrong had come to us through a denomination. A set of beliefs that originated with someone else. We said "OK, God, you teach us what's right and wrong". Lots of changes since then.

Arthur Burke has a teaching where he talks about four pillars. These are the absolutes in his life that all else has to submit to (for lack of better expression). Perhaps that's what is going on in my life right now. I'm building my pillars.

One of these things I am absolutely convinced of after years of contending with God over many issues. I believe that he is good and that all his intentions for us are good.

That one I'm sure of.

I need to write more. I work and stuff so writing doesn't always happen. But even though I go through all the normal everyday stuff of life my insides are busy, busy.

Thinking. Looking for something to come.