To buy or not to buy

Well, here's a dilemma for me.

Not long after I started working here I started thinking I needed a new car. I was kinda thinking about getting out and taking pictures and all the money that costs in gas right now in the Explorer. So Larry and I talked about a couple of possibilities of vehicles and test drove a small car. We couldn't get any agreement with each other - for one thing the car we really both like is a little more expensive and even tho it would get better gas mileage the notes would be higher and insurance higher so what would we really be saving. We put the idea on hold.

But it didn't go away. We've been doing some maintenance on the Explorer and the subject came up again. I went and test drove the car I thought I wanted yesterday. (Nice. If I get it I'll tell you what it is.) I'm thinking I need to do this. But on the other hand there is the point Larry made yesterday about the notes going up. I'm really thinking about this because I know his desire is to get some financial goals of his own accomplished before leaving KC and I really am not trying to get in the way of that. Thing is - in a sense I already did by coming here instead of staying and working in KC this year. This has cost me in one way because if we'd stayed in KC I'd have a fancier camera by now. So I don't mind making the sacrifices needed. But I still can't shake the feeling that this CHANGE OF MODE OF TRANSPORTATION is part of the process. In other words.....is this something that God is choosing just like my coming here would seem to have actually been his choosing that I stepped into and thought it was my choosing because it was my desire???? Or is this just me wanting something really badly and I'm trying to justify it with religious jargon. I'm disinclined to that idea simply because I'm really good at talking myself out of things I want if they cost more than I would like to pay. My original idea was to trade for something that would keep us in the same payment range that we are in now. I haven't solved the first dilemma yet and this morning my mind is working, working, working on this particular dilemma.

Interesting little note about that mode of transportation thing. When we were settled in Plano before we bought a Mercury Cougar. Very nice car. Loved it. When we started traveling we began to want an SUV. So we got a Pathfinder and then the Explorer. Now we are moving back home and guess what - now we want a nice car again.

And Larry is not telling me NOT to buy the car. He's just pointing out realities. Here's a funny. This is one time when we are both bringing our part to the table and there are more peices to put together.

So what's the big deal? Well, Larry and I understand that the "stuff" of our life - not just possessions but happenings - reflect what God is doing in our life. These things speak to us and we examine them to see if God is saying something. There are those times when it IS just us living our life but then there the other times, more often.....times when we do weird things for reasons that probably wouldn't make sense to very many other people. Our son says we're not normal. We disagreed with him for a long time but lately we've been thinking he might be right. Don't tell him I said that.

Oh for the ability to read the back of the book in real life. How much easier that would make things. Or would it??