I'm too honest to let this pass

Yep - now ya'll will see how honest I really am.

I just can't let this one go.

I'd like to - but I can't - or I'm not being honest.

Let's talk about the rebellion in my heart.

Yes....... I hear you laughing my lovely friends but that's OK - I know some things about your lives too.

OK - when I "ran" from KC rebellion was part of it. It had been building up for several years and was ready to bear fruit. I did actually know it was there. I really was to the point of saying to God that I was done with all this. But I can honestly say also that I didn't WANT to do that. It was all getting to be too much.

But I mention it as the other side of the picture. I've been sharing the picture of my life as God has been showing it to me and it has focused on the things that came to bear on my life from outside of me. But we are responsible also for the reactions that come from within us. I guess today is just the first time I've felt free enough to talk about this part of it. And I don't really know what I want to say about it other than to confess it's existence within me. I did spend some time repenting of it the other day.

Forgiveness and repentance are big elements of a journey to freedom. Forgiveness sets us free from others and repentance sets us free from ourselves. Sometimes it's hard to go to that place of repentance for fear of what we'll find there. But no matter what we find there it is never so strong a foe as to stand up to the power of true repentance. Or even a fearful repentance. It cannot stand up to the choice to repent. You make the choice and speak it to the Lord and he does the rest.