A Closer Look

Yeah... I feel like I'm starting to look through a microscope at this transition/journey thing.

Last week Father just shut the whole job search thing down and we did some other stuff together. Very relaxing for me. But you know, if God does something like that it's a smart thing to take the time to examine what he did and why and all week, in the back of my mind, I was searching for some understanding.

Here's my conclusion for today.

If Jesus lives within us and it's not about our living a "life" - Paul said, I no longer live but Christ lives within me - then whatever we are doing, ultimately, is about what HE wants to do. We do it with HIM because we are his vehicle in this earth. For example, have you ever FELT that you needed to do a thing and you knew the Lord was prompting you? Well, I say, that happens because Christ in us wants to do something and so HE can be where he wants when he wants he moves us in that direction. He's not looking for us to go and give our opinions or even "do ministry". He wants us to speak the words he puts in our mouth and if he's not saying anything maybe we shouldn't either. I hope my analogy works here.

What I began to see this past week is that Christ wants to come to Dallas and he wants us to bring him. Yes, I know he's already here (I met with him this weekend and he had many different faces) but because he deposits different aspects of himself into different people or couples or groups we can know that if he sends us somewhere then it's about the deposit he's put within us and it's about how he wants to use that deposit of himself in that place.

OK - it's making sense to me so I hope it's making sense to you. It's another level of taking ME out of the picture. I don't know exactly what being here is going to mean or how he's going to express himself through Larry and me. We will make those discoveries along the way. For right now though I'm understanding that if Jesus wants to look for a job we will. If he wants to clean house we will. If he wants to go to the arboretum we will. If he wants to talk to my children we will.

In Feb/March 2004 he began the process of teaching me to "live in the present moment". First he had to get my mind out of the future and my emotions out of the past. With intentionality now I am going to try everyday to give him a minute to let me know what he wants to do. This is a little scary for me. He knows me and knows that I much prefer to have at least some degree of control but I'm going to take the plunge.

Me having control hasn't worked very well for me anyway...how about you??