forgiveness

I have lately, several times, thought to sit down and blog something. I am certainly not without thoughts but I tend to want to keep some things to myself. The unformed. It's possible that if I didn't work I would write more but I do write at work if I feel like it so I guess that's not it. So I preface this blog with this thought - I am done with thinking that I will become someone who writes all the time and I am embracing myself as one who does whatever whenever. I like that. Takes a load off.

On my mind today??? For several days???

Forgiveness.

Lately there are two situations that are much in my face. Situations that contain conflicts or at least unresolved issues between people. So I'm thinking forgiveness.

Such a "Christian" thought isn't it?

Forgiveness. We forgive. Christ forgave therefore we forgive.

Words Words WORDS

At the risk of sounding critical - it is not my purpose to sound or be critical - I just want to say that I believe there is much lip service given to the ideal of Forgiveness. It is very noble sounding to forgive. But what is the fruit of forgiveness - where is that fruit? If the fruit is not there then the Forgiveness has not really happened... or as John and Paula Sanford phrase it... been "accomplished".

My disclaimer here. I know that in the body of Christ there are many teachings and various understandings on many things. I personally think that God himself is the author of such confusion because the human gets very comfortable inside the soft, warm fuzzies of AGREEMENT and WALKING TOGETHER. I don't see God being in agreement with our human level agreements. God doesn't seem to be overwhelmed by this lack of agreement within this Body that has Only One Head.

So you might not agree with me on all points but this is my take on forgiveness and making it happen and the fruit of it.

As I began walking out the journey of my own healing/deliverance, one of the things I had to learn AND understand AND do was forgiveness.

I was caught one day by that little phrase at the end of "The Lord's Prayer" that goes something like this... for if you do not forgive those who have offended you, God will not forgive you.

I pondered this and it lodged in my heart seeking meaning. I'm not sure at what point understanding began to actually form in my heart. I found that there were several puzzle pieces that had to be put together.

#1 I heard a teaching on anger. I don't know who the speaker was. Long time ago. What he said majorly impacted me. When we harbor anger at someone and consider that we have the right to be angry at that one we are in effect placing ourselves in Christ's seat of judgement.

A throne we we think we are able to sit on.

#2 If we remember what the Bible says to us about judgment we understand that we are to judge ourselves soberly and others not at all. That distinction is reserved by the Father for His son only. Jesus plainly said that if we judge another that that measurement for judgement will be used toward us. We judge others by their actions. We especially judge them when they have hurt us or someone we love. We judge their actions as incorrect and they cannot be forgiven until they have absolved themselves with us.

We do not forgive until the proper apology - or whatever - has been given and then from our place of exalted self-righteousness (Christ's throne) we forgive. Maybe. I truely believe that if we can't forgive without an apology then we won't truely forgive WITH one.

#3 But did we ever think that forgiveness should be our response toward God rather than the hurter/wounder/offender?

That's right. He HE HE is the one who would have us to forgive. It's not even a request. It is his command and he is very honest about the consequences of unforgiveness. We pay. We know this. We say to someone who is angry...the only one being hurt by your anger is you. A very appropriate remark but not completely true. That other one is being hurt because we stand between them and the righteous judgements of God that can set them free from whatever is at the heart of their hurting behavior. We throw a chain around our own neck and theirs binding us together in the woundedness/offence sharing in the fruits of wounding and pain and anger - hanging out in the murky world of souls tied together in an unclean bond. Sometimes such people won't get near each other and sometimes such people can't get away from each other.

#4 The Sanfords say that forgiveness is something to be "accomplished". More than agreement. Certainly more than lip service. Way more than stuffing it down and trying to forget about it.

Here is a little outline of their teaching that became transformational in my life.

1. Choose to forgive, understanding that you do the choosing and God does the work inside you. Forgive that one for whatever that one did. Give it its name. Call it out. Forgive it for what it did to you and call that by name also. Exe. I forgive so-and-so for this and for humiliating me.

2. Repent. Yes, repent. For your heart's reactions to the offence. For things that grow in the heart - like - anger, hatred, murder, fear, etc. For receiving the seed of such things in your own heart to begin with and allowing them to grow. For spending years justifying our own anger. For not trusting God to take care of our hearts and thinking we have to protect it ourselves. For these things we are responsible before God. This is a hard step because we can't always see ourselves as guilty when we know that we are the one that was wronged. But God is concerned with the response of our heart and whether or not we are guarding it and keeping it pure. Repentance is a key piece of this process.

Forgiveness sets us free from others and repentance sets us free from ourselves.

3. Release that one. From...our judgements, expectations, desires, needs. To...God, his mercy, his judgements, his love and his purposes for that one's life. Release ourselves to God.

4. Bless. Can you bless that one? With your words? With actions? Have you spoken evil of them to someone? Can you now go to those to whom you spoke those words and tell them you were wrong in that act? If you are free from the pain of the hurt/wound/offence then you probably can. If not then forgiveness has not actually been accomplished.

And that is the fruit of forgiveness. You are no longer subject to the pain. You are free to allow Jesus a fuller expression of Himself.

While I know that reconciliaton is a big subject in itself, if you are free from that pain then you are free to reconcile - or not, because I have to admit that sometimes that part doesn't happen - but definitely free to be a blessing and to bring a purer expression of Christ into all your relationships.

And that's it. It's that simple and yet it can be very, very hard.

If I ever took something up to be the message I would spread it would be this. I can sell this because I have lived it and it has been key KEY to my own healing. I know, I know - I'm far from perfect but I am so much different than I was and so much more able to deal with life's (people's) hurts.

Father, let this understanding of the power of forgiveness and repentance find lodging in the hearts of all your people everywhere. I pray this especially for those you have given me in my large spiritual family.

Set them free Set them free Set them free.