A little more about not getting what I want

You know - sometimes this business of not getting what you want can be a good thing. Especially when you're trusting the one who can see the end from the beginning. As I spent my first day at work yesterday I was very aware of how God had taken care of me in spite of me. The job I have is nothing like the job I wanted so badly. I was willing to give a lot to get that other job and it would have required some things that people don't usually give - like having your busiest season during November and December. Well, in this job, the only concession I had to make was working 8:30 to 5:30 and even that has turned out to be good in one important way. As far as everything else you normally get at a job I've gotten more than I expected - more holidays and benefits, a nice little private office space with updated equipment and a very comfy chair and anything else I need - just ask. Friendly people coming by to say hello. It really felt good to be at Westdale yesterday. Everybody had on blue jeans, capris, shorts...except me and the receptionist. I just couldn't quite bring myself to wear jeans on my first day. But I will today.

Now I'm not expecting utopia - work is still work and there will be stuff to work out along the way. But when looking at the whole picture I really am thankful that God has done for me what he's done. I was willing to give a lot to make my idea work. God didn't ask me to give up anything.

Now, in times past this would be one of those time when I could feel that God loves me. But I think the journey of these last few months accomplished something really good in me. I know he loves me and it's not about the job or anything else. He loves me like a good Father who just wants me to grow up and be whole and healthy. He wants me to feel safe and secure with him and I think I'm finally getting there.