Not getting what I want

What is that about? This "not getting what I want". Well at the end of the day -or bridge- that may be just the way it is. I know that I can set my hopes on things that I want and have been known to be somewhat inflexible at times which can cause some pain and distress but more than trying to get just what I want right now I really want to get all that God intends for me out of this journey. I know that he's dealing with my heart stuff and his and my relationship stuff so I'm trying to be flexible and move off center if that's what I'm supposed to do.

OR am I still supposed to contend - by standing firm in what my heart desires.

Right now at this minute I really don't know. Right THIS minute I really don't have to make any desision. I can just sit here and write.

These are the things I have before me at this minute. I think the Perfect Job that I interviewed for isn't going to happen. He seems to be going in other directions and I'm not about to try to make that work. At least I know better than to try to make a thing happen. What looks perfect on the outside might not be so perfect on the inside. Where I'm working right now there is the possibility of a job offer. Just the possibility - nothing for sure. The good thing is that it's right in the Arts District of Downtown on the 35 floor(don't like paying for parking but it's just part of it). The bad thing is that it's mostly data entry. Not the worst I've ever done but not what I wanted. Still it could be an "easy" job. God really dropped a peace about this in my heart on the drive to work this morning. And now this evening a lady calls about a job. She's a 1 man staffing company who saw my resume on Monster.com and thinks I might be great for a job she's trying to fill - the kind of job I'd like to have. One man office - I do it all. It's not a shoe-in - they'd have to be willing to train me on QuickBooks - a definite plus for me, maybe not for them. Guess where it is......Richardson. Yes, I said Richardson. Do you hear me laughing!!!! But if they are interested in talking with me I'm going to talk to them. I can have a job downtown that's not really what I want or a job I want that's not downtown. Hmmmm...what to to, what to do.

Right now, this minute, nothing. I've sent her an updated resume and she has to talk with the owner. He might not be interested. If he is we'll talk. Then Larry and I will talk and I will ask my King what He wants. (Did you catch that?) I'm understanding that the issue of his Kingship is one that he's working on these days. I confess I've contended with him down through the years over who is going to control this life. I'm sure no one has figured that out. It also touches on that trust issue that he went to the heart of back in 04...or was that 05? I have had my intense moments over some of these things in the last few days but I choose to trust him and I choose to believe that in the end whatever it is it will be in his best interest for my life. He can see beyond the facades of people and positions and tasks and duties and I can't.

So....we'll see.