Digging Deeper

I know I said - somewhere in all these blog posts - there is a post where I mention - sort of off handedly - that I knew there would be more things in me that God would find ....find?....to deal with.

Something that he woud find? Goodness. Sometimes I get amused at what comes out of me. God doesn't find things in us. You know that. I know that.

He reveals what is there. He's been knowing it for a long time. Maybe even a long long long time.

He goes deeper than the last time. I must be a very deep person.

But are we ever really ready for the revealing of it. I think it's like saying you are prepared for the death of a loved one. Not.

So now I have cycled and almost spiraled but he has caught me and is holding me in place so that I can process this new thing and in the end I will be the head instead of the tail and more than a conquerer.

Christians get very concerned about the enemies that are out there in the world. All the ungodliness and evil that we see all around us.

Those are not the enemies. The enemies are found within us.

Rainy Day in Texas

It's a cold rainy day here in Texas. A cold rainy day with a bit of snow mixed in.

*****Newsflash*****

Suddenly it really IS snowing. Beautiful, big, flakes of snow coming down in swirls and twirls, filling the sky with polka dots in motion.

Where is my camera when I need it?!

I imagine G & T are showing miss Abbi the wonders of snow right now.

But then there is the reality of snow in Texas. As beautiful as this is it's not freezing on the road and unless it gets much colder and freezes the ground the beautiful snow will just melt away. It will be no different that if it had just rained.

Sometimes the ground does freeze and the snow sticks but usually there's not enough of it to really cover. Ends up looking like a dirty mess.

A friend in Kansas City said on Facebook that she was jealous because I was getting snow. Not to be jealous I said. She has always lived in Kansas City and when it snows there it really snows. I guess my few years in KC taught me to appreciate a real snow. Our first year there we moved in 60+ degree January weather and in February it snowed 10 inches. Very cool. If I had the pictures from that first snow I'd post'em.


So while I sit here at my desk at work, thankful for the windows in the office across from me that make it possible to see the snow, I am also very aware that it will be gone soon.

I think my perspective of this snow is representative of the more realistic mind that I have grown into. And it also speaks to me of what I am learning about hope.

This snow may be beautiful right now but in the long run it doesn't really signify anything. It will leave no lasting impression. There have been many moments/hours/seasons in my life that seemed so very wonderful but the aftermath was either nothing or a mess. I invested hope for my life based on those moments/hours/seasons. When they came to nothing or I had the mess to deal with I crashed. I could not maintain hope.

I am - really am - learning to hope in God now. I am finding it easier to let life be what it's going to be. I don't feel so powerless now that I have learned how important it is to make my contribution to the direction and plan of this life in this valley. But neither am I feeling the need to control it.

Beautiful snow - embrace the moment for the gift that it is without expecting what it cannot be.

In the valley

So the man and the woman came to the end of a bridge. It was a long bridge. There was a time of lingering at the end of the bridge before they stepped off. You might think they were surveying the land that they were about to enter into and they were .... or so she thought.

Do explorers ever really see what is waiting for them in the unexplored places? How can you know what's behind the next curve or boulder? Things jump out at you sometimes.

Some people are settlers at heart. Some people are pioneers. But to get where the settler is to settle I suppose there must be a time of pioneering and discovering. It's a good time for the pioneers until the settling and building of structures begins. Then there is the fittng of something expansive into boundaries.

The man and the woman of this journey are very definitely in the valley now and building has begun. The foundation of their life is still solid. So far no earthquake has been powerful enough to break this Rock. Two by fours are going up. The man has remarked more than once in his life that he loves to see a house in the stage of being built that it is all studs and rafters.

In the land of the intangibles what is a stud or a rafter?

Decisions.

Perhaps it's the decisions we make about the life we are going to live.

Hours - maybe days - maybe weeks of conversations. A subject taken out, held in their now open hands to be examined as thoroughly as they can with the help of Holy Spirit. Emotions do not hide themselves at such times as these.

A decision made. A stud goes up.

Joining with other people. People who have been distant now close. People thought lost now in sight.

Holding a relationship that before was touched and then left. A rafter is set in place.

She has watched the man, for many years a carpenter, build houses. She's watched the process of setting these things in place and securing them. Not simple in the natural act. Even less simple in the realms of the emotion and the spirit.

At times the process can push the boundaries toward despair. But then God comes in a quiet moment and says Hope. The lady is listening.

Isaiah 40....They that wait upon/hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will mount up on wings as eagles. They will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not faint.

He is teaching that lady - finally - to wait and not be afraid of hope.

Photo Musings Autumn

Arthur Burk in his own words

I just read one of Arthur Burks articles addressing the issue of being called a cult leader. I thought it was a very good article and you can find it here if you would like to read it ...


http://i.b5z.net/i/u/1627875/f/About_Cult_Leaders.pdf